𝑻𝒉𝒆 𝑰𝒍𝒍𝒖𝒔𝒊𝒐𝒏 𝒐𝒇 𝑨𝒃𝒂𝒏𝒅𝒐𝒏𝒎𝒆𝒏𝒕

Society says that we are in control of our own fates. To trust no one and to depend on yourself. “I can do bad all by myself,” and countless other quotes have been preached as gospel truth. They aren’t wrong, but they also aren’t completely right. 

You definitely should not trust any person with your life. No, not even those you may hold near and dear to your heart. Every day, we see that some of us can’t even trust our parents. The ones who actually have the highest responsibility to care for us unconditionally. Regardless of whether they planned it or not.

That’s the funny thing about making plans or setting goals. Sometimes the things that we want or believe that we deserve were never meant for us in the first place. Even when they are, it usually doesn’t manifest how or when we plan. More often, it catches you off guard, and you don’t even realize that you are living the life you had hoped and prayed for.

𝑲𝒏𝒐𝒘𝒍𝒆𝒅𝒈𝒆 & 𝑷𝒐𝒘𝒆𝒓

Even if you don’t subscribe to any form of spirituality, you cannot deny the fact that there is a rhythm to life. Things don’t just happen without reason, and nothing is unaffected by what happens around it. Somehow, there is always a cause and effect. 

Scientists and mathematicians are some of the most intelligent people, working hard their entire lives to uncover the secrets of space and time. They may not realize that they are also some of the most insatiable individuals. When you spend so much time and energy trying to understand and even control time and energy, it’s impossible to ever enjoy it. 

Although we all don’t go down the scientific path, a good majority of us get lost in the same way. Attempting to conquer life by whatever means we can. A lot of us have turned to new age practices as a form of control.

 It makes us feel empowered and connected. Sometimes we may even use it to disconnect. We associate ourselves with different deities depending on culture, ancestry and sometimes just plain fantasy. Fantasies that we want to make our reality. 

𝑻𝒉𝒆 𝑶𝒃𝒔𝒆𝒔𝒔𝒊𝒐𝒏

Mermaids, known for their beauty and hypnotic powers, are idolised by young girls and women all across the world. Like most of us, I wanted to become one so badly. Honestly, I just wanted to run away from human society. Everything is so hard here on land. So many systems created by men that force us to work and earn money just to survive. 

Young ladies are expected to please men and have children. As if that isn’t hard enough, now in the twenty-first century, we are also expected to be independent boss babes holding down demanding jobs and careers on top of being “wifey material.”

I didn’t want any part of this world, so I made it my mission to find a way out. I watched almost every mermaid movie I could find, researched every myth. Read every scientific article that was available to the public. This eventually led me down the rabbit holes of magic and mysticism.

 I started casting spells, changing my diet and lifestyle. My entire personality changed, and I eventually got what I wished for. Unfortunately, it wasn’t gills and a big, beautiful, shiny tail. I became something like a mermaid, but not quite. 

I lived this way for about a decade. It took a few near-death experiences for me to finally give it all up. I focused on just trying to be a good person, but even then, I still suffered from existential crises and felt unfruitful.

𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐂𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐠

My body ached. My mind was confused. My heart turned to stone, and my soul wandered alone. Then one day, something touched me. I was lying in bed, mind racing with suicidal thoughts, per usual. 

Then all of a sudden I felt someone jump into the bed and grab me from behind.    My bed actually shook from the impact. At first, I thought it was a previous lover of mine astral projecting to me. I have never been more wrong in my life. 

This energy was none other than the Holy Spirit. It felt like I was being embraced by the sun. Yes, it was that hot, but it didn’t burn. Instead, it was a comforting warmth radiating from the inside out. I started to cry because for the first time in a very long time, I felt complete and utter peace. It stayed with me until I stopped crying and almost fell asleep.

I couldn’t let that feeling go, so I leaned into it. I started to feel convicted and slowly but surely, found my way back to The LORD. I actually grew up going to church, but my family wasn’t super religious at all. We just followed customs; no emphasis was placed on faith.

𝑯𝒐𝒎𝒆𝒄𝒐𝒎𝒊𝒏𝒈

I have finally realized that I was never crazy. Everything that we see and feel is absolutely real, and I only have God to thank for revealing and guiding me through the darkness. In this series of blogs, I intend to help do the same for others.  

It is not easy to accept the truth. Especially living in this world where we are constantly fed conflicting stories from every direction. It gets hard to know what is real and what is meant to lead you astray. The Devil does this intentionally. It is easier to trap people when they have been deceived. 

 God is all-powerful and can do whatever he wants, but he loves us so much that he gave us the free will to choose to love him back. Following Jesus Christ will lead you straight to the truth that is, the all-loving Father. Our souls already know that he will provide; all we have to do is surrender.